How to Stop Comparing Yourself With Others and Start Living Your Happiest Life

Let's face it - a lot of our happiness is affected by others, or at least perceived to be affected by others. That's what I discovered (and talk about!) in my 2024 State of Happiness research report. It's high time we change that and reclaim our happiness. Check out my latest Youtube video for why I think this is and what we can do about it! Read on if you would like a quick recap: 


In today's digital age, it's all too easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself with others. But this comparison can rob you of your happiness and self-worth. Let's explore why comparison affects our happiness, see if statistics back it up, and learn practical steps to break free from this cycle.

Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others?

One of the biggest reasons we compare ourselves is due to our inherent social nature. We're constantly interacting with people at work, in our neighborhoods, and on social media, which makes it difficult to avoid comparisons.

The Impact of Social Media

Social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook can be breeding grounds for comparison. We see curated highlight reels of other people's lives and think we're missing out. Did you know that 30% of Americans say that comparing themselves to others drains their happiness? It's a significant issue that can't be ignored.

Work Environment and Comparison

76% of working Americans say that more happiness would make it easier for them to work well with their team. This statistic highlights how comparison affects not just our personal lives but also our professional interactions and productivity.

How Comparison Steals Your Joy

The Psychological Toll

Comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and lower self-esteem. It's detrimental to your mental health and can make you question your worth and capabilities.

The Impact on Relationships

When you're consumed by comparison, it affects how you interact with others. You may become irritable, less empathetic, and even distant. This can strain your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.

Career Implications

Comparison can also hinder your career growth. If you're always measuring your success against others, you may miss opportunities for promotions or raises because you're not focused on your own achievements.

Steps to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Acknowledge the Issue

The first step in overcoming comparison is acknowledging that it's a problem. Recognize that everyone has their own path and that comparing yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges. I’ve loved this quote by Steven Furtick for a long time, “ One of the reasons we struggle with insecurity, is because we compare our behind-the-scenes to other people’s highlight reel.” And he said that long before social media and means even more today. We cannot compare ourselves to others - we don’t know their whole story. 

Limit Social Media Time

Reduce the time you spend on social media. Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate and follow those that inspire and uplift you instead.

Practice Gratitude

Focus on what you have rather than what you lack. Practicing gratitude can shift your mindset from one of scarcity to abundance. Make it a habit to write down three things you're grateful for each day.

Building Your Own Path to Happiness

Define Your Own Success

Success looks different for everyone. Define what success means to you and set personal goals that align with that vision. This will help you stay focused on your path rather than getting distracted by others.

Invest in Personal Development

Continuous self-improvement is key to living a fulfilling life. Take courses, read books, and engage in activities that help you grow both personally and professionally.

Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you. Positive influences can help you stay focused on your goals and boost your self-esteem.

The Importance of Self-Compassion

Be Kind to Yourself

It's essential to be kind to yourself. Understand that everyone has struggles and that it's okay to have bad days. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would extend to a friend.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you stay present and focused on what truly matters. It can also reduce stress and improve your overall well-being.

Conclusion

Comparison is indeed” the thief of joy,” but it doesn't have to be. By acknowledging the issue, limiting social media time, practicing gratitude, and investing in personal development, you can break free from the cycle of comparison. Remember, your path to happiness is unique and valuable. Focus on your goals, surround yourself with positive influences, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. Start your journey today and live your happyIST life.

If you're interested in exploring more ways to improve your happiness, check out the rest of my happiness and resilience findings here:

Cheering you on always, 

Michelle 

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