Choosing Success - A Fork In The Road
Our human existence can be summed up in one word: forks. (Not the food kind, though I'm awfully fond of holding one when I'm delivering delicious morsels to my mouth.) I'm talking about the decision kind. A profession, job to take or college to attend. Making a jump to entrepreneurship. Someone to date or marry. A place to move or home to buy. But even little things...Whether to yell at a child that is testing your patience (tonight, ahem!). Picking a fight with a spouse or loved one because you're right and they are wrong. Deciding how to spend your time. Places to go on vacation. What to eat for lunch. Deciding to change health habits. Telling a lie to get out of something. How to spend money (or deciding to save it)....you get the idea. Some of these choices are seemingly insignificant, while others have lasting consequences.
When we're at that fork, we make a choice and choose a path. We can go down that path for a short time or a long time. We may even go down a "wrong" path, realize it and have to make a choice...Do I go back or do I stay down this path? Turning back can take humility. Turning back may take "I'm sorry." Turning back may mean accepting consequences. Turning back will ALWAYS take 100% ownership and responsibility, because changing course cannot be rooted in blame or pointing fingers. In some choices, there may be short or long term consequences. In some choices there's nothing wrong with going back to the fork and changing your mind.
My point is this: Own your fork. Own your choices. And by golly, have courage to turn back when you need to. Say, "I'm sorry, more." It doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. Stop blaming others for your circumstances. While many of us can be victims to other's choices, we can make decisions to correct our circumstances. Stop lying, and stop accepting other's lies. (While this isn't a political post, I've been wondering lately how we have people running for office that are habitually dishonest and we allow them to continue as if it's okay? Did we become so dishonest as a culture that we can't fault them because we aren't honest in our own lives? This alone keeps me up at night...Where is virtue in our leaders? Why aren't we expecting more?).
Stop judging others for their forks and choices. Though they may be on a different path, we're all dealing with similar decisions and consequences. Can we show more empathy to those who are making changes in their lives and stop expecting them to go down one singular path (or even expect them to make the wrong one)? Choose to mend instead of elongate a fight. Choose to smile instead of holding a grudge. Stop beating yourself up for the path you're on. Honor it. Every choice teaches us. Every choice empowers us to make a better (hopefully) decision next time. Every choice makes us stronger, even if it's "wrong". Having the humility and the COURAGE to make changes is what defines us.
As one who has made many a course correction - almost daily as a mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, and business owner it's easy to catalog all of my past missteps. If my path were mapped, I probably spend more time going back than going forward. Every role I play seems to be a dance down one path, and then running back to "fix" it. But at least I'm trying to mend, right?
May we all give ourselves (and others) permission to LEARN in this human existence. May we not define ourselves and others by the forks, but on the ownership of the path and the progress.It's worth it.
(Speaking of morsels, anyone have a cookie? I'm currently on one of my health paths to see if this has lasting power while my husband next to me eats maple bacon popcorn.)