Ever had one of those moments where someone says something to you and a light bulb goes on? It happened to me last year when my business coach Tiffany Peterson said to me, “Comparison equals despair.”
In 2010, I went in search of Life Balance and found that Life Balance was a myth. That year long process turned me into a better coach and consultant, resulted in creating two live events on the subject and ultimately led to the creation of my product The Life Balance Myth that ships out in May.
In 2011, I went in search of MY path and gave up on what everyone else was doing. It’s so easy to look at other successful people and say, “What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I be like that?” And then either try hard to be like THEM (instead of themselves) or go into a pit of despair that ultimately sucks all the energy out and there’s no room for growth and preservation. I’ve done both of the above. I’ve always been so worried that I was doing something wrong that I stopped trying at times.
The truth is, I don’t have to be the next Brendon Burchard, Jack Canfield, Oprah or Tiffany Peterson. I have to be me: Michelle McCullough. My path, course and outcomes will be very different than theirs, but if I spend all my time comparing myself, I’ll never be me because I’m too worried about being them.
Here’s the other thing about comparisons, our perspective is skewed:
One of the reasons why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our-behind-the-scenes to other people’s highlight reel.
– Pastor Steven Furtick
Isn’t that juicy?
Our side by side comparisons are not apples to apples. What we see is not reality, its only the highlights of someone’s life compared to the whole picture of ours.
Finally, you need to check with our intuition and find out the path that’s right for you. I’m a huge fan of Brendon Burchard’s. He set a path in his book “The Millionaire Messenger” for a coach/author/speaker to make a million dollars in a year. When you read it, it’s so straight forward that you can say, “I could do that.” And in reality, anyone dedicated to doing the work probably could. Who doesn’t want a million bucks?!
Then, I thought to myself, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” I’m in a different stage in my life, and I’m secure with that. I have two little kids that I want to give more attention to them than I could if I did that plan at this point in my life. So, I said to myself, “How about a million in five years,” and that resonated with me.
The bottom line is it’s your life, not theirs. I’m all about mentors, and role models. I’m all about coaches and trail blazers that help put you on the right path for you, but again it’s YOUR path. You decide the pace. You decide the destination and you decide the journey.
Embrace YOUR life, and enjoy the peace that comes from following your own path.